WE ARE ONE
This book is not about motherhood. It's a book about identity. It’s a book about using life’s unexpected circumstances as a lever to open you up to the most authentic, alive, powerful version you can create yourself to be. In my case, motherhood.
Motherhood, for those of us for whom it was never in the cards, can do no less than shift the tectonic plates of your being. In the process, it can feel like it levels the life built upon them.
Embracing this will rock you, shake you to the core, and catalyze an expansion that would swallow the life you left behind whole - and allow you to live the full richness of life, heal the deepest parts of you and emerge anew, not redesigned, but renovated. Brought back to your true essence to create magic in your life in a way that you never anticipated, and arguably, could not have accessed without this massive ‘disruption.’
Our culture teaches us that it’s about balance. Finding time for yourself, making sure you take care of your own needs.
I call bullshit. Balance isn’t going to cut it. While logistics play a major role in the daily challenges of parenthood, for the kind of women this book is written for, it’s not about time management.
It’s about energy management, soul management. It’s not about balancing your checkbook and budgeting your time, it’s about creating a radical shift in who you are. Shedding your old identity and shifting who you are at the deepest, most expansive level.
Behind the Pages of 'We Are One'
Writing a book was the easiest thing I've ever done. It was a direct creation of life through MAGIC. Join my dear friend, Lindsay Davis, and me as we explore, laugh and share about the magic behind the book.
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EXCERPTS FROM MY BOOK, WE ARE ONE
I HAVE MAGIC HANDS
I was laying in bed, trying to get Pepper to sleep after she woke up in the middle of the night. I’ve been trying not to pick her up every single time she cries because lately it seems to be every 45 minutes, and I know she can’t possibly be hungry again. I let her cry for a few minutes to see if she’d settle back to sleep. She didn’t, so I reached my hand into her crib and found her tiny hand. She immediately grabbed onto my thumb and instantly stopped crying...
I turned off the dirt road onto another even *less* smooth dirt road and headed up the winding pass following the instructions for the cabin ‘resort’ I had booked. I followed the road to a tiny sign that read, “Turn here for resort.” I pulled up to a towering wooden gate with a sign announcing, “24 hour surveillance. No trespassing.” And a second sign with an image of a gun range target (with two bullet holes in the head and several in the chest) that read, “Nothing in here is worth dying for...”
BEAUTIFUL AND LETHAL
Nine months into Pepper’s life, Sibe and I were going to bed. He said, “This is life now, isn’t it? It’s not going to slow down, is it?” I told him my guess was that it might only speed up. He replied, “We have to connect more. I don’t want us to get lost in the busyness.”
My mind jumped immediately to a moment right after P was born that was the impetus to write this book. I was lying in bed facing Sibe, but all I could think about was P...
TURTLES AND GRATITUDE
I was sitting on my couch with my eyes closed, trying to connect to myself to write, when Sibe walked in and asked, “You didn't let Opi out?”
I felt the tiniest contraction in my body, slight irritation. It wasn’t anything he said, it was that he said anything at all.
I’ve noticed that writing in the morning feels most effortless and enjoyable when I’m alone, uninterrupted...
HAIR ON FIRE
I woke up to a text from my assistant. “I know you’re on vacation, but I just found out that (her favorite couple in personal development) are getting divorced! I’m okay, but I’m shocked!”
My stomach dropped and I pretended not to notice.
That couple had been a source of inspiration for us over the past two years in building the business we were building...
There have been many moments when I’ve wanted to help speed along the process of walking for Pepper.
I’m just really excited for her. At the same time, it’s just another (literal) step forward out of baby life that I’m also dreading.
But whether I want it or not, she will walk. And she will grow up, and it will be beautiful...
Recently, I’ve been thinking that I wanted to delete some of the pieces of this book. Part of me is embarrassed for sharing them. At the moment, they felt so intense and so real. Looking back, ten months later, I judge them as dramatic. But when I can sit with that with more curiosity and have more compassion for myself, I see something completely different.
What I see instead is that I am actually evolving...
THE DANCE OF EXPANSION
“Just don’t ever let your heart close,” I think, as I feel my heart closing, laying face-to-face with Sibe in bed.
Years ago, I read the book, “The Untethered Soul.” In the book, the author explains that if you want to expand your capacity to love, enjoy life, overcome your mind, and essentially reach enlightenment, you just don’t ever let your heart close...
I locked myself in the bathroom in the morning. I didn’t want Pepper to see me crying.
I was locking myself in the bathroom, crying in the closet and in the shower, more often these days.
If I were given the option to snap my fingers and end up in the exact life I had pictured for myself (which was different than the one I have) and it wouldn’t affect anyone I love — I wouldn’t do it...
I’ve been shark diving off the coast of Australia, hiked sulfuric steaming volcanoes in Chili, swam with hundreds of year old sea turtles in Bali, snorkeled off the coast of Kenya, discovered baby seals on secret beaches in New Zealand, partied all night on beaches in Thailand, and this is just some of what I’ve done in my life.
And while these were incredible moments, and I don’t want to diminish what I felt in those moments, they all have one thing in common: they’re all things I’ve done — and moments I struggled to experience...